Nudge & Twilight
by Some Call Me Tickler
Summary: Nudge reads twilight, and the following ensues. Bit of FAX, coz I know people like that stuff XD. R&R?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay so my friend gave me the idea for this, so I'm writing it. She's a genius (Oh wa oh oh oh oh oh!) Pre-Fang (I.e, post Max)**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Maximum Ride. Or twilight. Or Brainjack. But again people _Fan_fiction. Seriously. But whatever, as long as I don't get sued.**

Max POV

"OMG! Thanks Iggy!" Nudge squealed. We were having Christmas at my mom's.

"What did you get?" I asked

"Twilight!"

Oh no.

I'd heard how obsessive some people had got over this book, and the movie. I just hoped I wouldn't be forced to watch the movie.

"Nudge! I got the DVD!" Ella babbled.

Someone kill me now.

"Here, this is for you" Fang's quiet voice came from behind me. He handed me a small wrapped present, and I handed over his. I opened mine swiftly, and looked inside.

It was... beautiful. As well as ironic. He had gotten me a necklace with a bird on it.

He unwrapped his present fast as well and was looking over his swiss army knife.

He looked over at me then, gauging my reaction.

I looked at him and laughed.

"It's beautiful" I told him, and he smiled slightly.

* * *

We all looked over our presents. I had gotten and iPod, a mobile phone (all courtesy of mom) a new pair of gloves (thanks Ig!) Some clothes (er, uh, thanks Nudge) A bunch of CD's (I suspect mom bought them for Gaz to give to me) A book (Not Twilight, thanks Angel!) and I was wearing The necklace Fang gave me.

Nudge was unusually quiet, buried in her book (Ugh. Twilight) I saw her pull faces every now and then, and I could swear I heard her gasp.

"Anyone want to watch Twilight with me?" Ella asked. Fang, Iggy, Gazzy and I quickly shook our heads, Angel agreed and Nudge..

"Lemme finish the book first" she said "It'll take about another hour or two"

"Okay, we'll watch it now, in the other room, and we'll watch it again with you later" Ella suggested

"Yeah! It could be a movie night! Everyone can watch!" Angel suggested, beaming

_Please no._ I thought at her.

_It's for your own good._ She thought back.

I sighed and turned back to my book. It was called _Brainjack_ by Brain Faulkner **(A/N real book. It's really good)

* * *

**

I sighed again as I settled into my seat next to Fang.

"Remind me again why we're watching this" I murmured to him

"So Nudge is pleased" He whispered back "It's either this or listen to Nudge babble about the book"

"Point taken, this I can sleep through" I added with a grin. His returning smile almost melted me. _Almost._

As it turned out, I only managed to get to the part where Edward beats the crap out of the van, before I fell asleep.

I woke up as the final credits were rolling and no-one seemed to notice I was asleep.

"OMG that was AMAZING!" Nudge squealed excitedly. Oh dear God.

"Like there was that part, and she's all like 'I'm only afraid of losing you' I thought that was soooo romantic. And then there was the part where Edward's all 'Say it out loud' and Bella's all 'Vampire' And OMG Robert Pattinson's SOOOO hot!..." Nudge carried on and I whispered to Iggy "You've created a monster"

"It wasn't my doing" he whispered back "Dr M bought it for me to give it to her"

"Right"

"OMG I sooo want the next book. Ella do you wanna read the first one?"

"Yeah, sure"

"Well I'm off to bed" I said loudly "Good night"

"Night Max" Nudge told me "And then he.." Nudge continued talking to Ella and Angel about the movie.

"Night guys" I said as I walked out of the room. I could tell by the shuffling of footsteps behind me the boys had followed. They didn't really want to be a part of that discussion.

I threw myself into bed and looked up at the ceiling. Hopefully, I could get to sleep before Nudge showed up.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Again, thanks to my friend who came up with this, and I hope she likes it. There's also a few New Moon spoilers aswell. **

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. (Seriously, how many times do I have to do these things?)**

**Oh and also I think the whole thing will be in Max POV. If it changes, I'll let you know.**

As it turned out, I managed to fall asleep before Nudge came in, but sadly, she woke me up.

"Edward.... My...... Edward" She said dreamily, in her sleep.

I slowly crept out of the room to go have a shower. I was hoping Nudge would sleep in.

Unfortunately, I never get what I hope for.

As soon as I was out of the bathroom, I could hear Nudge's voice coming from the kitchen.

"Yeah, uh, sure Nudge" Poor Iggy.

"And then when he saved her from James ZOMG, that was stunning!" I walked into the room then.

"Hey Nudge, Hey Ig"

"Hey Max!" Nudge said excitedly. "Did you like the movie last night?"

"I-"

"I thought it was amazing! Robert Pattinson is soo hot! I dibs him! Dibs, dibs, dibs! Which made me think, why can't we be vampires? It would be-"

"Nudge" I interrupted her "Can you see any of us sparkling" I snickered at the mental image I just got "Can you see_ Fang_ sparkling?"

"Hmm.... I still think it would be awesome. We could be, like, ultra fast, and like, just awesome y'know?"

"You _want_ to suck people's_ blood?"_ I told her

"Not really, but wouldn't it be amazing! Dr M's gonna take us down to get the next book and.." I stopped listening for a moment. It was yet another instance where a death glare was wasted on Iggy. But at least I knew he was suffering too.

Just then Angel and Ella walked in, and Nudge went to talk to them. Thank God.

"Good morning, Max"

"Fang! Quit sneaking up on me!"

"It wasn't sneaking. I practically told you where I was."

"Hmph" I turned back to the table, where Iggy was laying out bacon and eggs. Fang pulled up a seat next to me.

"What was that about me sparkling?" he asked

"Nudge wanted us to be vampires. I asked her if she could see any of us sparkling, then thought of you. Hilarious mental image. Angel must have enjoyed that one"

He snickered at that.

"Okay guys, we're all going out" Mom announced

"Yay!" Nudge, Ella and Angel squealed.

The rest of us? Not so much.

"C'mon everyone in the van" Mom had recently acquired an eight-seater van. It was brilliant, but I still preferred flying.

As we got out of the van, Nudge lead us straight to the bookstore. Of course.

"Which one comes second?" Ella asked

"New Moon, then Eclipse, then Breaking Dawn." she paused for a second, then turned to mom

"Can we get them all today?" she asked

"Of course" she replied sweetly, as they grabbed the books of the shelves.

I rolled my eyes as they walked up to the counter, and turned to Iggy.

"I'm blaming you for this" I accused teasingly

Iggy shrugged, smirking.

Nudge was unusually quiet for the next five days. Unless it was dinner. Or breakfast. Or lunch. Then she'd talk non-stop. No prizes for guessing what she talked about.

"I still can't believe Edward left." she shook her head sadly. It was about the eighty-seventh she had said this and it was getting old.

"Oh, well I'm done, night guys!" Nudge said, rushing off to wherever she had left that goddamn book.

"Okay now we can talk about something that actually _matters_" I muttered. I could hear Fang and Iggy's silent laughter from beside me.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: thanks for reviews! I just wanted to say can you please check out my other stories?**

**Also: I do sorta like twilight, so please, I mean no offense here. **

**DISCLAIMER: Again, I own NOTHING. Zilch. Zero. Nada.

* * *

**

"Please Max" Nudge said for the thirty-eighth time.

"No. No _way_ am I reading Twilight. Nuh-uh" I told her.

"Please Max" thirty-ninth time now...

"No. and that's final Nudge" and then she pulled out the Bambi eyes.

I have_ got_ to find a resistance to that.

"_Fine_" I said, exasperated.

"Yay! Here you go Max." she handed me the book.

Ugh. Now I have to read it.

"Start reading it now!" Nudge demanded excitedly. Ugh.

Okay here goes:

_I'd never given much thought to how I would die--though I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this._

'I'd never given much thought to how I would die.' Stupid unprepared idiot.

I continued reading, my patience with 'Bella' was wearing thin already.

* * *

I had gotten to chapter 15 when mom called out for dinner.

_Finally_ I thought. The most entertaining part for me was when 'Edward' called Bella stupid.

Of course, that would probably be one of the only enjoyable things in the book.

I stayed quiet all through dinner, ignoring Nudge's ramblings about Edward.

Quite frankly, I thought he was an overprotective idiot, and has no respect whatsoever for 'Bella's' privacy. I mean, seriously, watching someone sleeping? That's just _beyond_ creepy. And I've met some pretty creepy people (anyone else remember Ter Borcht? The Uber Director? Just to name a few)

"...So how far have you gotten into Twilight, Max?" Nudge asked

"Uh, chapter, uh, fifteen"

"You're reading twilight?" Fang asked. I could tell he was holding back a snicker.

"Uh, um, yeah" I didn't want to hurt Nudge's feelings, so I shot Fang a look that said _details later_.

He nodded solemnly, still choking back laughter

* * *

"So, you're reading Twilight" Fang told me.

"She used the Bambi eyes!" I shouted defensively. "You know I wouldn't _really_ read it under my own free will."

"True, true"

"But anyway, I think Nudge expects me to be done in another, oh i'd say ten seconds, so i'd better go"

"Stay here" Fang's voice was so... intense. You _never_ question Fang's intense voice. _Ever._

He pulled me to him then, and kissed me.

And you know what?

I cannot compare him to 'Edward Cullen'.

At all.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:Okay so thanks for reviews, and yeah. I'll just get on with the story now..**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.

* * *

**

"Max! Have you finished the book yet?" Nudge's shout made me jump away from Fang. I could tell she was coming in here.

"Uh.."

"Get the book out.I'll hide" he murmured as I watched him fade into invisibility.

I grabbed the book and flopped onto my bed, just as Nudge burst through the door.

"Finished yet?" she asked

"Not yet" I smilied at her. It was a forced smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"What chapter?" she asked again, brightly

"Uh" I checked the book "Sixteen"

"Right, okay. Seeya later Max. We'll talk when you're done" and with that Nudge left the room.

I breathed out a sigh of relief.

"See what I mean when I say 'in the next ten seconds'?" I asked Fang, turning to where I saw him disappear.

"Yeah, I see what you mean" Fang whispered in my ear.

I jumped, he was sitting behind me on my bed.

"Scared you" he muttered, grinning

"You have _got_ to stop doing that" I exclaimed

He just rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I think I'd better finish that damn book. _Before_ Nudge kills me"

He nodded, grinning and walked out of the room.

I turned my attention back to the book.

* * *

I turned the final page, sighing in relief. That's one experience I don't want to relive.

Don't get me wrong, Stephenie Meyer's writing isn't completely horrible, but there were some times I was going 'That makes no sense' and part where I wanted to yell 'COULD YOU BE ANY STUPIDER?'

And _sparkling. _Could she have made the vampires less gay?

And 108 years old? Can we say; pedophile?

I stumbled out of my room, heading for the kitchen. How long had I been reading? I was starving.

"Have you finished Twilight yet Max?" Nudge asked brightly

"Uh, yeah" I mumbled

"Great! Did you like Edward? I thought he was amazing."

"Uh..."

"And Esme is just so adorable! I wish she was my mom. You should _so_ read New Moon, then we can go see the movie! I think it's still in cinemas.."

"Whoa, Nudge, slow down!" I exclaimed

"Right. Sorry. So did you like the book?" she asked

"It was, uh, interesting"

"I know, right? But Edward.." I tuned out then. She obviously didn't catch my tone at the word 'interesting' oh well. Saved her the disappointment.

"..Hey Dr M? Can we go see New Moon tomorrow?" I heard Nudge ask

"Yeah, sure" Mom smiled.

"Awesome! Thanks!" Nudge turned to Ella then, and they (well, Nudge) happily chatted about seeing the movie tomorrow.

Well, good for them. I was already trying to come up with excuses to get out of it.

Something makes me think I'm going to end up seeing it anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** **Another chapter! Woo! I'll just get on with the story now.**

**Oh and also, I definitely take Max's side on this. **

**And.... I put some Eggy in this chapter as it was requested.**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own MR, if I did, I would have gone all obsessive, and would be writing book seven, plotting Fang's brilliant return :) And killing Dylan.**

**And also I don't own the line 'Fuck up, Slut' I stole that off the very same friend who gave me the idea for this story.

* * *

**

"Why do I have to come? I can't even _see_! That just ruins the whole point of a movie!" Iggy exclaimed

"Yeah! Why do we have to come?" Gazzy whined.

"Well you guys can't stay home by yourselves!" I told them "We wouldn't have a home to go back to!"

"Besides" Nudge chirped happily "Real men watch the Twilight movies. Or act in them"

"Yeah. Real _gay _men" Iggy said

"Nudge, I don't think that's really true..." I told her

Nudge, Angel and Ella chattered happily about the movie, while Fang, Iggy and I sat with our arms folded in the back.

I watched as Ella glanced back numerous times to look at Iggy. Probably trying to catch his eye, forgetting it was impossible. By about the twentieth time, I rolled my eyes at her. She blushed a deep scarlet and turned back to Nudge who was babbling about Forks.

* * *

As it turned out, the screeening was some gala one or whatever, and the stars were going to come in the theatre and talk about it afterwards. Oh joy.

There was a long line of screaming girls, and a few uncomfortable looking boyfriends. I started to feel sorry for them, when I realised I was in the same boat.

We had bought tickets online (apparently) so we just jumped straight into the line.

"Can we get some popcorn?" Gazzy asked.

"Sure" Mom said, smiling at him "Max, can you go get us popcorn?"

"Yeah, okay" I said, stepping out of the line.

I started walking, and I was halfway across before I realised someone was walking behind me. I whirled almost tripping him up. Fang. Does he have to keep sneaking up on me?

"So unobservant" Fang said shaking his head in mock disappointment.

I rolled my eyes at him

"You could at least _say _that you're coming" I told him.

"Yeah, but that just ruins it" he said, smirking.

* * *

We took our seats in the middle of the cinema. The whole theatre was fulled with screaming girls, agitated boys, and.... Screaming middle-aged women? WTF?

When the movie started, people cheered. Fang, Iggy, Gazzy and I groaned. It was the beginning of the torture for us.

As the movie rolled on I whispered to Fang "How long till Gazzy yells 'Get a room'?"

"About three seconds" he whispered back

"Three, two, one"

"GET A ROOM!" Gazzy had disguised his voice, making him sound like a middle-aged british man.

I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing, and even Fang was holding in a snicker.

A few 'Twi-Hards' looked back, annoyed, and a few of the boys who had obviously been dragged here laughed with us.

The rest of the movie was pretty much uneventful. It flew by with a few snickers, rolled eyes and facepalms.

But the real fun came afterwards.

The stars of the movie walked out in a stage – which had just been put up – infront of the crowd. Practically all of the teenage girls in the room screamed. One even yelled "I LOVE YOU ROBERT!" and then someone else yelled "FUCK UP, SLUT. HE'S MINE!"

I groaned. I was going to get a headache from all this.

I noticed Nudge was also screaming.

"Nudge! You don't have to scream. They won't hear you!" I told her. She just stuck her toungue out in response.

The crowd's cheering slowed as the actors began to speak.

"Hi, I'm Robert Pattinson, and I play Edward" Screaming girls proposing to him and announcing their undying love.

"Hey, I'm Taylor Lautner, and I play Jacob" More screaming, proposals, and announcements of undying love.

"Hi, I'm Kirsten Stewart, and I play Bella" A few people cheered. The person next to me whispered to her friend: "That's the girl who stole Edward from me" then someone yelled "WHORE! YOU STOLE MY EDDY-KINS!" and I had to laugh at that. But I was a little scared too. This is how _obsessive_ Fangirls could get.

"What? No screaming form your end" Fang whispered to me, smirking

"I'm not a Fangirl" I told him. Truth. I wasn't. I was a _FANG_irl. Big difference.

The rest went like this:

Robert: Drools on about playing Edward

Crowd: More Proposals

Taylor: Babbles about playing Jacob

Crowd: Again, proposals. Don't these people have _lives?_

Kirsten: Talks about playing Bella

Crowd: A few cheers, more accusations of her being a slut and taking 'Eddy-kins' away from them, and I could swear I heard a death threat.

Robert: Well I hope you enjoyed the movie!

Crowd: YESYESYESYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: OMG! WTF! BBQ! **(A/N: I have no idea where I got this, but it sounded funny. It's like someone saying: Oh my god! What the fuck! Barbeque! I don't even know what BBQ is supposed to stand for. Anyone know?)**

"Uh, can we go now?" I asked. Not very politely, but it was good for my standards

"Yeah, we'd better beat the rush" Mom agreed.

As we walked out, I caugh a couple on a bench doing the old 'No you are!' thing where they touch eachother's noses. Hmm... Let's see if I did that do Fang.....

_Me: No you are! -touches Fang's nose-_

_Fang: -Punches in face- Get the fuck away from me Max II!_

Yeah. Smooth.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks so much for reviews. I'm going to be away, so no updates for about a week or two. I'll try to write as much as I can when I get back.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I'm kinda like the ultimate plagiarist, but I have these so....

* * *

**

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. The answer is no" I told Nudge, looking at her sternly.

"Please, Max?"

"No! N. O. That spells _no_" I told her. Nudge sighed and looked meaningfully at someone behind her. Oh no.

_Angel no. Just, no. _I thought at her. The room stayed silent for a second (possibly a new record for Nudge) until I said

"Okay, Nudge. I'll read it"

_Goddammit Angel! I swear, you're going to pay for this _I shot Angel the bird, and tried to ignore Nudge's squeals of happiness.

After about two minutes of 'listening' to Nudge's rambling, I walked out of the room.

_Sorry, Max. But you should read it. _Angel thought at me

_Why? _I thought back, screaming at the top of my mental lungs.

_Trust me._

Of course Angel went silent after that. Of course.

I stormed into my room and flopped on the bed, tossing the book into the growing pile of junk on the floor.

It took about ten minutes for Angel to come in after me.

"C'mon, Max. Give the book a try." She said pleadingly.

"Angel, no"

"Max. Pick. Up. The. Book." Against my own will, I walked over and grabbed the book.

"Now, start reading" Angel ordered, and I had to.

_ANGEL! Do you know how deep in shit you are?_

_Max, please, no swearing. Besides, I told you. It's for your own good. Now get back to reading!_

I sighed and looked back at the book, taking in the words.

* * *

A knock on my door pulled me from unconsciousness

"Who is it?" I called

"Me" Fang. "Can I come in?"

"Uh, sure" I said, watching the door open.

"Where were you? You missed lunch" Fang asked

"I was sleeping" I told him.

"In a book?" he asked, pointing at my – _Nudge's –_ copy of _New Moon._

"Apparently so" Fang picked up the book, looking at the cover. Judging by the twitch of his mouth, he found it amusing.

"I thought you were never going to read this" he said

"Nudge – _Angel – _had other ideas" Comprehension flickered across his face as soon as I mentioned Angel.

"Anyway, I was going to ask you if you wanted to go out flying" Fang said, closing the previous conversation with one sentence.

"Sure" I told him, and we walked silently outside.

* * *

My wings caught the wind current, and I stopped flapping for a moment, gliding. I dreaded having to go back home, and have Angel forcing me to read that damn book.

"Why?" I muttered

"Huh?" Fang looked over at me

"Oh, nothing" I said, too quickly for him to believe it was 'nothing'

"Really?" he said, in a no nonsense tone.

"I was just thinking, why is Angel dead set on me reading the book. She says it's for my own good. How is it for my own good? Does she _want _me to go insane?" My voice rose as I reached the end of my rant.

"Well, I have no idea. Maybe she wants you to increase your standards for boys" he said jokingly

"Har har"

But then I realized, he might not be so far off the mark.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Giving you an excuse to say 'No shit sherlock': I'm Back! I won't bore you with a large author's note. Back to the story....**

**DISCLAIMER: You'd think they learn after so many disclaimers....

* * *

**

Fang and I banked slowly back to mom's house. I sighed as we walked towards it, we had to leave soon as much as I hated to. Keeping on the move and all that.

_Max! You wasted valuable reading time! _Angel's voice screamed in my head

_Well hello to you too_ I thought back sarcastically. Honestly, that kid was driving me crazy.

"Hey Fang, hey Max" Gazzy's voice almost cracked with laughter as he said my name. Why?

"Uh, hey.." I muttered as I watched Fang just nod his head in recognition. Damn, I should of done that. I thought back to what he'd said earlier – when he'd been speaking, which was a little out of character for him - _"Maybe she wants you to raise your standards in boys"_

_Hit the nail on the head with that one_ Angel thought at me approvingly. She backtracked a little when she saw the look I was giving her _Fang's still great, but he's no Edward Cullen._

"Angel!" I shouted. The rest of the flock looked at me in surprise.

"Seriously Max. You know I'm right"

"Angel, If you are so hell bent on this..." I turned to kiss Fang (which was unbelievably amazing, in case you wanted to know)

The rest of the flock just stared at us

"Point taken, but I'm still right, and I won't stop trying to make you see that" Angel said breaking the silence.

"Yeah, sure, whatever" I said

"Wait, wait, wait" Iggy almost yelled "What did I miss seeing that made everyone go silent"

"Max and Fang just kissed! It was all gross and-" I put a hand over Gazzy's mouth

"He doesn't need to know the details" I told him

"Yeah, 'cause I already know what it's like" Iggy blurted, then blushed.

I turned around and saw Ella looking a little shocked, perhaps a bit petrified, and she was blushing too.

"ZOMG!" Nudge squealed "Who was it?" she obviously hadn't put two and two together.

Total groaned

"Well at least it's better than daytime television" I stage-whispered to him

"Better? Equal it may be, but _better?_" he shook his head and trotted out of the room.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the scene before me: A squealing Nudge and Angel gushing at an uncomfortable looking Ella (Nudge must have figured it out, or Angel told her), Gazzy shaking his head at Iggy in disgust and Fang....

Huh, where was Fang? He was by Iggy a second ago

I needed, like, a sixth sense for sensing where Fang was. It would make my job a whole lot easier. But as it turned out, he was just standing behind me. Typical.

We came to a sort of silent agreement to leave the situation (see above) to resolve itself for now. How hard could it be for them to sort themselves out?

We launched ourselves into the air, we didn't really care where we were going. We just wanted to get away from that, from everything

"So what was that about?" Fang asked. He seemed to be asking that question a lot lately. We were sitting in the high branches of an oak tree, not far from the house.

"What was what about?" I replied. There could be a heap of answers to that question, a lot had happened

"The whole kissing-me-infront-of-the-flock thing"

"Oh, that. You see, you were right about Angel's motives to make me read _new moon._ She admitted it herself. She thinks _you_ need to be more like Edward Cullen" I paused for a second, taking in Fang's expression "Her words, not mine" I told him. He nodded, and I continued

"She said she was right, and no matter what I did, she would still be right"

"Yeah, I caught that part. But why?"

"I'm not sure" I told him truthfully "But she's hell bent on getting what she wants"

Fang nodded again, and another thing occurred to me

"Oh, I almost forgot. We're leaving tomorrow for some safe-house"

"Where?"

"Dunno yet. We don't get to fly there"

It was silent for a moment

"Well, hopefully the others have resolved themselves" I muttered and dived out of the tree

We banked on the deck and hurried inside – it was raining – and slowed to a walk as we reached the door. It sounded like there was some kind of commotion inside.

"Encore, Encore" Nudge and Angel were squealing. Iggy and Ella were standing together, kissing. Gazzy was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, hey Max" Nudge said "Meet the happy couple!"

"Huh?"

"Truth or dare" Iggy explained, somehow completley calm about this.

"Right, anyway, I thought you'd like to know we're leaving tomorrow, for another safe-house"

"'Kay" Nudge said "I'll go pack"

"Me too" Angel chirped, and they raced off to their room.

"Got that Ig?" I asked. He was staring blankly in my general direction.

"Yeah, got it"

"Good" I left the room, aware (for once) of Fang following me.

"So what do we do now?" he asked once we were in my room "About Angel, I mean"

"We burn the books" I replied quickly and confidently

* * *

**A/N: Hopefully this chapter is kinda long, 'cause it looks long from Open Office.**

**Anyway, if you're ever in Queenstown, NZ, Go on the luge/ Gondola (the big chairlift thing up the hill), go white water rafting and go on the shotover jet. If you like doing exciting awesome stuff. You won't regret it.**

**Review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello again! I just wanted to tell you guys about this YouTube video I found. Search: 'Alex reads Twilight' It's really funny (he's making fun of twilight by the way)**

**And back to the story.... -insert some superhero theme music here..... Hmm maybe Thunderbirds... Or Indiana Jones... I'll shut up now-**

**DISCLAIMER: -Rakes mind to try and find something I own- -light bulb appears- I own the cake! It may be a lie, but I own it! Success! (Well actually I don't, GlaDOS does, but still...)

* * *

**

"Okay, so do you want them burnt, exploded, melted..." Iggy said, Gazzy nodding beside him.

"Uh, you choose" I paused for a moment "Wait, you could _melt _it?"

"Uh, no. But exploding is just as good" Gazzy exclaimed, looking rather excited, probably due to the fact that he was being _asked _to blow stuff up.

Wait a minute. Was it just me or did that sound extremely formal? I mean, I said_ rather _and _due._ If those words aren't formal then I don't know what is.

_Note to self: Don't talk like a fancy twat._

"Why don't we explode them all. Burning is just too elementary" Gazzy said, sounding pretty intelligent for eight years old.

"That sounds good. What could we use...?"

"Ammonium Nitrate?"

"Perfect"

"Okay, well I need them exploded _soon_. Come get me when it's ready to explode" I told them. I left the room smiling. Phase one complete.

* * *

"You want _what?_" Nudge exclaimed. She looked like she didn't know whether to be excited or appalled (Seriously Max. Appalled?)

"I'm really getting into New Moon. Can I have the next books?" I don't know _how_ I got those words out of my mouth sounding truthful.

"Angel's not here" I told her smirking.

She looked at me, bemused for a second, then leapt over to crush me in a hug.

"I _knew_ you'd love it! ZOMG! Just _wait_ till you read Breaking Dawn! It's_ so _amazing" I tried to ignore Nudge's babbling for a moment.

"Anyway, the books" Nudge said "I'll go get them, wait here" she dashed off into her room, returning seconds later with two large books.

"Here. I just _know_ you'll love them"

"Thanks Nudge" I walked through to my room. I picked up the other two books and shoved them in a backpack.

I was suddenly aware of someone behind me. I whirled, punching them in the gut. I aimed a kick at their ankles, knocking them to the floor.

"Ow. Why, hello to you too, Maximum" Fang said sarcastically

"Ah, shit. Sorry"

Fang got up off the ground, stretching.

"That hurt" he told me

"It was kind of supposed to" I told him "It was intended for, say, an M-Geek"

He nodded "Oh, and Ig said the bomb is ready"

"Cool. Wanna come watch?" I asked him. He merely nodded in reply, reaching down and grabbing my backpack, tossing it to me.

* * *

"We didn't know if you wanted a big explosion, or a little explosion, so we voted big explosion on your behalf" Gazzy explained.

"Right okay. Here's what I want you to explode" I handed the bag over to them. "The contents, not the bag"

They nodded, and Gazzy pulled out the books, then looked at me with a puzzled expression

"What?" I asked

"I thought you were reading this" he said, holding up new moon.

"Gaz, did you _really _believe I would read that of my own free will?"

"True"

"Enough chit-chat. Let's get to some explosions!" Iggy said "It's pretty big, so we'll have to stay far away. And I mean_ far_."

I nodded and backed away. Gazzy began to run up to the bomb with the books until a voice – and a person – stopped him.

"GAZ! NO!" Angel came flying through, almost knocking Gazzy to his feet in a tackle. She ripped the books off him and flew away, back in the direction of the house.

"What the _hell_ was that?" Iggy asked in a shout

"Angel just came in and ripped the books off me! Man, why are girls so protective over Twilight?" Gazzy explained

"Hey! I'm a girl!" I exclaimed, a little peeved.

"Yeah, you're a girl who _read the books._ You're one of _them_ now" Iggy said

"Did you not get the full story? Angel _forced_ me to read the books. As in the mind-controlling way. It wasn't particularly enjoyable"

I saw comprehension flicker across both of their faces.

"Well we might as well detonate the bomb" Iggy said, reaching for the detonator

"Sweet!" Gazzy exclaimed, moving backwards, a movement Fang and I quickly mirrored.

Iggy hit the button, and ran back quickly.

The sky lit up for a second, and a billowing cloud flowed out from where the bomb was set. A few pieces of shrapnel from the bomb's casing flew towards us, landing a few feet before us.

"That. Was. EPIC!" Gazzy yelled, jumping abnormally (well for as human anyway) high, punching a fist into the air

"That sounded so awesome" Iggy said, clearly in awe

"Dude, Ammonium Nitrate is some _serious _stuff"

"I'd have to agree" I told them "Save some of that for some M-Geeks"

Gazzy nodded sincerely, whereas Iggy just grinned manically

"Anyway, we'd better get back. We're leaving in about two hours" and without another word, I set off into the air. It wasn't long before the boys followed me.

* * *

"Max, how _could _you?" Angel exclaimed

"Angel, you can't get everything you want. That's not how life works. You have to give up on some things" I told her

"But-"

"But nothing. Actions have consequences Ange. No mind-controlling _anyone_ in the flock."

She nodded solemnly, realising what she'd done.

"You guys all packed?" I asked everyone else.

"Yeah" Nudge said.

"Uh..."

"Well..."

"About that....."

"Go on. Get packed now then" I told them, walking off to my own room to pack.

It was hard being the leader.

**A/N: Woo! Another chapter! Hope you liked it, and review!**

**Please?  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: This is a bit of a filler chapter. Don't worry, I'll get back to the main storyline soon enough**

**Randomer: There's a main storyline?**

**Me: Quiet in the cheap seats!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. Except maybe my cat... Oooh! And my guitars! Their names are Scarlet and Melody (Scarlet's a red electric and Melody is a Yamaha acoustic.) Oh and I own my trumpet! Oh wait.. It's a rental from school. Bugger.**

**ANYWAY**

**Back to the story:

* * *

**

I flicked through iTunes, downloading songs that sounded cool.

We had about half an hour until we were picked up, so we were all finding ways to kill time.

Fang and I were updating iPods, Iggy and Gazzy were doing something dangerous out back, and Nudge, Angel and Ella were watching... ugh. Hannah Montana. Someone, please shoot me now!

"Enter Sandman's a cool song" Fang said pointing. I clicked on a bunch of Metallica songs and downloaded them.

"Oooh, Rooftops! I love that song!" I exclaimed, clicking on more 'Buy Now' buttons. So in the end we had songs from:

AC/DC

Bullet for my Valentine

Foo Fighters

Green Day

Hushpuppies

Iron Maiden

Ivy Lies

JET

Jimmy Eat World

Lostprophets

Metallica

Muse

My Chemical Romance

The Offspring

OK Go

Paramore

Rise Against

System of a Down

And a bunch of other random songs **(A/N: I got that list from scrolling down my iPod.)**

"Guys! Car's here" my Mom yelled

"Coming!" I called back, yanking my iPod out of the port, and reaching for my bag.

Fang and I walked down the hall to the front hall, walking in on a touching goodbye scene, courtesy of Iggy and Ella. Lovely.

"Ella, seriously. I have to go now. How many times have I actually said goodbye?"

"Twenty-seven" Ella chirped "And I cherished every one of them" Ella and Iggy then burst out laughing, it was obviously some kind of joke between them.

Iggy walked out of the room then, towards the car.

"Seeya Ella" I called

"Wait!" she called, running for me, about to crush me in a hug.

"Sorry Ell. Gotta go" I winked at her "World to save and all that" she laughed then, and mom came out then.

"c'mere Max" she said, opening her arms for a hug. We stood there hugging for a minute

"You've got your phone?" she asked

"Yep"

"Okay then. Stay in touch. Oh, I almost forgot, here" she handed me a bag of chocolate chip cookies

"Hey! I wanted those!" Ella exclaimed

"There's more in the oven."she told her, then turned back to me "You'd better get going. Take care"

"You too mom" I told her, and we left with a wave

We all piled in a van; not unlike my mom's new mini-van. But this one was bigger. Fang and I sat together in the backseat.

"How long a drive is it?" I heard Gazzy ask

"About a day. We'll be there at around this time tomorrow" an unfamiliar voice – the driver – explained

"Okay" Gazzy told the driver, sitting back in his seat.

The car began to roll forwards, and almost simultaneously, Fang and I pulled out our iPods.

Just then the two of us burst out laughing. I plugged in my iPod and turned it on. The song was _Playing God _by Paramore. It decribed my situation with Angel perfectly. The lines: _I can't make my own descions, make any with precison, well maybe you should tie me up, so I don't go where you don't want me _jumped out at me. I sighed and stared out the window, watching cars fly past on the motorway.

As the song changed to _The Only Exception _by Paramore, I was suddenly aware of Fang next to me. Almost as soon as I realised this, he tapped me on the shoulder. How ironic.

"Yeah?" I asked, pulling out one earphone.

"I just wanted you to know, we'll sort out whatever Angel has with you and that book"

"I-"

"I know everything, remember?"

I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt good there. Safe. Well, as safe as a mutant fugitive living in hiding could feel.

"Thank you" I whispered

He took my hand and held it. After a couple of hours of this, I saw Angel turn around to look at us. I suppose she expected us to be leaning against the windows and staring out of them, rather than leaning against eachother and staring into eachother's eyes.

But I didn't care what she thought. I was happy. Peaceful.

_Yeah, sure, whatever Max _Angel thought at me. Looked like I _had_ to care about what she thought. Dammit.

_Hey! Anyway, just you wait. This isn't over._

That did _not_ sound good.

Well, shit.

* * *

**A/N: Again, sorry it's just a filler chapter, but I'll be updating again soon (as in, later today or early tomorrow) so yeah. And also all the bands are real, and they're all on my iPod. So if you like Alternative/Rock like me, you should listen to some. Also, the Song "Rooftops" mentioned is by Lostprophets, and the song is actually called 'Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast) It's a real cool song.**

**Review. You know you want to....**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: More chapters woo! I'm updating as much as possible before schools starts again, which is in -looks at calendar- two days basically :( It's not nice.**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own. Man, if I did.....**

**Anyway, STORY TIME! -ignores weird looks readers gives her and begins the story-

* * *

**

I stretched a little as we walked into the safe house. I had no idea where we were, and no-one was telling us. I'd try to get it out of Angel but...

Yeah. I just don't want to go there.

"How long are we staying here?" Gazzy asked

"I think a week? Maybe two" I told him. He nodded seriously and went off to claim a bed.

I walked into one of the three bedrooms in the safe-house. One for girls, one for boys, and one for... well I didn't actually know who it was for, no-one would tell me. All they said was "He'll be here tomorrow." Perfect. As if I needed _another_ mystery on my plate. I was still a little worried about what Angel meant when she said: _Just you wait._

"Max!" Nudge called from her bed, her voice flooded with excitement.

"Yeah?"

"Breaking Dawn's gonna be two movies! I'm SO excited. Breaking Dawn, is such an awesome book, y'know? And-"

"Nudge?" I interrupted her "I hate to burst your bubble, but I really don't care."

"Huh? But Angel said-"

"I said nothing" Angel chirped happily. How was a chirping seven-year-old suspicious? Maybe it's just because I'm paranoid.

_She finally admits it! _Angel thought at me.

I rolled my eyes at her, I didn't feel like dealing with her horse-shit.

_Max, what did I say about swearing? _Angel thought at me, her mental tone patronizing

_I already have a mother thanks _I shot back at her. She grinned and turned to Nudge. They seemed to be having a mental conversation.

"Well, I'm gonna go out flying. Later" I walked out of the room, towards the kitchen. As far as I could tell, the safe-house was in the middle of 'freaking nowhere' forest edition. Lovely.

I picked up my jacket and headed for the door.

"Going out?" a voice behind me asked. I whirled, only to see it was Fang. Seriously, DNA, screw the whole breathing-underwater thing, I need Fang-dar. Or a resistance to the bambi eyes.

"Yeah, wanna come?" Fang nodded, and we set off into the night.

* * *

"So" Fang said, clearly mulling over what I just told him about Angel's semi-threat. We were sitting in a tree in the forest beside the safe-house

"Yup"

"Sorry Max, but I reckon you're screwed. You're fighting with a _mind reader._"

"Ye of little faith. I do have a_ plan_" I told him

"And that plan would be..?" Fang asked

"Confidential. Angel can't know and I don't want to risk it" I explained.

"Right. And how are you going to keep it from Angel?" he asked

"Easy. I won't think of it"

"And you think I will?"

"I can't be sure"

"Right"

There was a pause for a minute, and I could tell Fang wanted to know what was happening

"Fine, I'll tell you" I told him

"I was wondering when you'd say that" he murmured

* * *

**A/N: Sorry the chapters' so short. A little thing called writers block. I need suggestions!**

**So any ideas on what max's plan could be, what Angel's plan can be, anything, I'll try and use them.**

**Review?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:. ONWARDS WITH THE STORY.**

**Oh, funny thing that happened at school: In English, we had to do this poem and answer some questions. The poem was called "Fang" when the teacher said it out loud, me and my friend just looked at each other. Later, I found a way to maximum-ride-ify the answers (I didn't actually write these down):**

_**What type of animal is Fang? **_**Mutant Bird Kid. But he prefers the term 'Avian-American'**

_**What are Fang's hobbies? **_**Blogging, Flying, the usual.**

**Etc.**

**It was kind of ironic too, because I had just given the 2nd Manga to the friend mentioned above.**

**Another funny thing that happened: I was at this restaurant, and I was wearing a T-shirt that said 'Zombies make better boyfriends' Then, I ate Lamb brains. WIN!**

**DISCLAIMER: Ooh! Idea! I need to learn how to do a disclaimer in Japanese. But for now, 'Me no own' will have to do.

* * *

**

"So your plan is to wing it and try to make Angel think you have a plan?" Fang asked quizzically

"Well, yeah pretty much" I paused for a second "If you could think something like 'Max's plan is so awesome! Man, Angel's gonna pay' that would be great"

Fang laughed "Well as long as you know what you're getting yourself into.."

"I don't. But then again, I never know _anything_. The voice usually does that for me"

He raised one eyebrow "The voice?"

"Huh. That's not a bad idea" I said, half to myself. "Hold up one sec"

_Hey, voice? You there? _I thought desperately

_No comment. _Huh. The voice had never spoken to me on command before, and normally had something use-

No scratch that. _Sometimes _had something useful to say. Haha. Burn.

"Voice got anything?" Fang asked

"Nope. All it said was 'No comment'"

"Huh"

* * *

"Fine Max! I give up! There's no hope with you!" Angel exclaimed

"What? You're just giving up? Just like that?" Angel just nodded

"Thank God" I muttered

_It's still not over yet Max. I have a phase two. _Angel thought smugly.

Great. Just great.

I threw myself onto the couch, lacking of other things to do.

"Max, don't take it personally" Angel said, eyes innocent. Damn it Angel could look so cute and... believable. It annoyed me.

She giggled, I was guessing at my thoughts. I rolled my eyes and left the room. I really couldn't be bothered with Angel.

* * *

**(A/N: This is me trying to do what JP does when it's in another POV. Let me know if it's a fail)**

Angel walked up to Fang. She had a mission. It was probably mission impossible, but Angel was determined to make it work.

"Hey Fang?" she called

"Yeah?" Fang looked up from the T.V.

"Don't tell Max" Angel began to work on his mind. "But can you read Twilight?"

"Uh.."

"Please" Angel used her last resort, the Bambi eyes. That + mind-control = Fang's demise.

"Sure, Angel" Fang said unwillingly. He didn't want to read the book!

"Remember, don't tell Max. Whatever you do" Angel said, in a voice unlike her own.

Fang simply nodded, and took the book from Angel.

* * *

**(A/N: Okay, back to Max POV now)**

"Finally" Angel murmured, and I could hear a rap on the door.

"I'll get it" she yelled, and ran to the door, pushing whoever it was back outside and whispering something to whoever it was.

"Hey guys!" Angel called excitedly "you'll _never_ guess who's here!"

She led him inside, and everyone's jaws dropped.

Well, I definitely did not see this one coming.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Woo! I beat writers block! Take that!**

**Stephanie: 1**

**Writers block: 0**

**Ultimate Pwnage.**

**And thanks to CrazyNerdyFangirl for her suggestion. I used it, probably not in the way she intended, but I used it!**

**Anyway, on with the story I say!**

**DISCLAIMER: Well, we didn't learn how to do a disclaimer in Japanese, but we did learn how to say where we're going. **

**But anyway. Doozo! (Here you are in Japanese)

* * *

**

Seriously Angel? What is _wrong _with you?

Why bring _Robert Pattinson _to our _Safe-house._

"ANGEL!" I shouted, but I was overpowered by Nudge's squeals of joy.

Nudge, being Nudge, ran straight to him, giving him a huge hug.

"ZOMG! It's really you! You're even cuter in person!"

"NUDGE!" I yelled, pulling her off him. "Sorry. She's a little obsessive." I explained

He was looking at me, in a way I had only known one person to.

Jeb.

"ANGEL! GET OUT OF OUR HEADS! I _KNOW _IT'S JEB!" I shrieked. She had no _idea_ how much trouble she was in.

Of course, she could just scan my mind to find out.

All of a sudden, Robert turned into Jeb.

"What the..." Gazzy trailed off

"What? What did I miss?" Iggy asked

"I'll tell you later..." Gazzy said slowly.

"Uh, hi," Jeb said. He was answered by a glare from Fang and I, a confused look from Iggy and Gazzy, and a genuine 'WTF' face from Nudge.

"Uh, Angel-"

"Did nothing!" She smiled sheepishly.

"Angel-" I began.

"Max, it was _just _a joke. Chill."

I rolled my eyes at her. "_Last _warning, Angel. I mean it"

* * *

I stumbled out of bed and walked straight into the lounge, checking the time as I went.

5:00 am. Yeah, I _really _want to be awake right now.

I sat down on the couch, and it took me a second to realize I had sat down next to someone.

I looked at Fang startled for a moment, and he snickered, pushing something under the couch with his foot.

"Morning," I said warily, looking down by his foot.

"Morning."

"What did you push under the couch?" I asked

"Uh.." I reached down under the couch, grabbing at the first solid object I found and pulling it out.

As soon as I pulled it out, I was shocked, outraged and somewhat amused, all at the same time.

Yeah, it takes _skill._

"Angel got to you too, huh?" I asked jokingly, trying to hide the outrage and shock. And the amusement. That would just make Fang feel bad.

"Unfortunately," he muttered, obviously not pleased.

"Did she tell you why?" I asked. Fang shook his head.

"But I can guess," he said, looking really annoyed.

I nodded knowingly. I knew _exactly _why Angel was getting Fang to read Twilight.

"She's not going to stop," I whispered "you saw how she was in Hawaii, how stubborn she was"

Fang nodded again, still fuming.

"But that doesn't mean she won't pay."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry the chapter's kinda short, my parents are nagging at me to do homework. Blah, blah, blah.**

**But anyway, review with suggestions and what-not, I'll try and use them (And credit you in an author's note)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Another chapter! I'm on a roll!**

**Also: To anyone who has read _Catching Fire_, the second book in the Hunger Games, was it wrong that I laughed when I first saw Finnick's name? Y'know 'cause of 'Fnick'?**

**DISCLAIMER: Me no own. That'd be JP. And last time I checked, that wasn't me.

* * *

**

Well this just plain sucks.

I have a seven-year-old intent on making my boyfriend like Edward Cullen.

In other words: Sparkling and gay. Probably wants him to have 'Bronze-colored hair' too.

Angel, your opinions scare me.

We (as in the flock. Minus Jeb, thank God) were sitting in the lounge, with a lack of anything better to do.

"Max? Can we play truth or dare? I'm bored," Nudge asked

"Uh, sure," I said. What could possibly go wrong? I thought for a second, and decided a lot could go wrong.

"No outrageous dares," I clarified

"Okay!" Nudge chirped "Who's first?"

"I'll go!" Angel's voice was bursting with excitement.

"Fang," she said "truth or dare?" Uh-oh. What was her plan?

"Uh, dare," Fang said

"I dare you.." Angel trailed off, thinking "to dye your hair bronze!" Ugh. I assume _way _too much. She probably got that idea from me.

"Angel, no long-term dares. Just something that can be done quickly," I told her

"Hmph," she muttered.

'Aw, c'mon Max! Think of the possibilities! He could look just like Ed-"

"No," I cut Nudge off

"Just 'cause you love the goth look," she mumbled

"Uh, don't I get a say in this?" Fang asked, looking annoyed.

"My point," I said, ignoring Iggy and Gazzy's snickers behind me.

"Whatever, Max," Angel said

"The answer is still no," I said firmly "Try another dare"

* * *

"How many times did Nudge and Angel ask 'Twilight-ified' questions again?" I asked Fang. After the disaster that was truth or dare (Twilight edition, according to Nudge and Angel) Fang and I had escaped to the forest. It was peaceful here, away from the chaos that was my life.

"I wasn't counting," Fang smirked. "Although, hopefully your dare will change that."

I grinned. Out of sheer annoyance, I had dared Nudge and Angel to stop talking about anything remotely related to Twilight for a week. I was hoping that would give me enough time to come up with a _real _plan.

"We'll deal with Angel," Fang murmured softly, reading my expression in that annoying way of his. He leaned in to kiss me then, and I crushed my lips against his, reveling in the sensation that out here, no-one could bother us.

Also the fact that there _was_ an us, something that would have never crossed my mind a year ago.

We pulled away, staring into each-other's eyes.

"Should we head back?" I asked unwillingly. We'd been gone about an hour, and something bad usually happened whenever we weren't with the flock. Typical.

Fang nodded, and we took off towards the safe-house.

* * *

"Max, you're a freaking _genius,"_ Iggy exclaimed as Fang and I walked into the room.

"And what makes you say that?" I asked, intrigued.

"You found a way to make Nudge and Angel shut up about Twilight," he said, relief flooding into his voice.

"Yeah," Gazzy added "Now we can make bombs without listening to them babbling on about vampires"

"Glad to be of service," I said. I thought for a second. Gaz and Ig were smart but most of all devious.

"Hey guys," I said in a hushed whisper "You might be able to help us with something..."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Wow. 50 reviews. I feel special.**

**I hate to advertise, but if you've read The Hunger Games I've started a fanfiction on that, and if you haven't already read my other stories can you please do so? Reviews are awesome. I have a new resolution to reply to every review from now on. So REVIEW!**

**Anyway Back to the story-mobile! -insert awesome superhero music here-**

**DISCLAIMER: I. Do. Not. Own. Comprende?

* * *

**

"I'm serious. No blowing up the safe-house," I said sternly.

"But Max! We're not going to be here much longer," Gazzy whined.

"Yeah, but the CSM ain't made of money. They can't pay for you to blow up a building!" My reasoning was sound, and Gazzy stopped winging.

Wouldn't you just love to have a fairytale 'The End' written there in schmancy writing?

Sadly, with my life, that's never the case, and after an hour of putting our heads together, Fang, Iggy, Gazzy and I had failed to come up with a plan to thwart Angel.

"Well, I guess that's all we can come up with today," Iggy said seriously.

"Ig, we don't have a plan yet," I told him, rolling my eyes.

"And your point is..."

"Ugh, whatever. If you come up with something, try and keep it from Angel," I said, before heading off to my room.

I flopped on the bed, almost sitting on my iPod. I decided I needed to take my mind of Angel for a minute, and pushed in the earphones. I selected a song which I thought wouldn't remind me of Angel - _ Brick By Boring Brick- Paramore._

_She lives in a fairy tale  
Somewhere too far for us to find_

Sometimes, I never knew who Angel really was. First her acting up in Hawaii, now this. Though I'd never admit it, she was scaring me.

_  
Forgotten the taste and smell  
Of the world that she's left behind_

It _did _feel like she had left us. Like the old Angel was locked up somewhere inside her, and she couldn't get out.

_  
It's all about the exposure the lens I told her  
The angles were all wrong now  
She's ripping wings off of butterflies_

She was being so weird about the whole Twilight thing. But she gave up on me reasonably fast.

_  
keep your feet on the ground  
when your head's in the clouds_

She was dreaming _too _big, setting herself huge, unachievable goals.

Wait a minute. I thought I wasn't supposed to be thinking of Angel!

_  
Well go get your shovel  
And we'll dig a deep hole  
To bury the castle, bury the castle  
Well go get your shovel  
And we'll dig a deep hole  
To bury the castle; bury the castle  
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da_

_  
So one day he found her crying  
Coiled up on the dirty ground  
Her prince finally came to save her  
And the rest you can figure out_

I had to come up with a plan for Angel. I couldn't just let her get away with this.

_  
But it was a trick  
And the clock struck 12  
Well make sure to build your house brick by boring brick  
or the wolf's gonna blow it down  
keep your feet on the ground  
when your head's in the clouds_

_  
Well go get your shovel  
And we'll dig a deep hole  
To bury the castle, bury the castle_

_Well go get your shovel  
And we'll dig a deep hole  
To bury the castle, bury the castle_

_  
Well you built up a world of magic  
Because your real life is tragic  
Yeah you built up a world of magic_

I had a week to come up with a plan. A long-term plan, not just a ten-second quick fix.

_  
If it's not real  
You can't hold it in your hand  
You can't feel it with your heart  
And I won't believe it  
But if it's true  
You can see it with your eyes  
Or even in the dark  
And that's where I want to be, yeah_

"That's it," I murmured to myself. I concentrated on the rest of the lyrics, pushing my plan to the back of my mind. Angel couldn't know.

_  
Go get your shovel  
We'll dig a deep hole  
To bury the castle, bury the castle  
Well go get your shovel  
and we'll dig a deep hole  
To bury the castle, bury the castle  
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da, ba da ba ba ba da ba ba....._

The song faded and I could barely contain my excitement. I shut off my iPod and threw it onto the beside table, and shot out the door.

"Iggy! Gazzy! Fang! C'mere!" I shouted through the house. Angel and Nudge must be wondering why I didn't call them, but they weren't vocal about it.

"What?" Fang murmured in my ear, making me jump. Why did he always appear to come up _behind _me? Seriously genes, now would be a good time to give me hyperactive senses or something.

"I've got a plan," I murmured, he knew what I meant and nodded.

Gazzy and Iggy came sprinting in then, looking like something out of a cartoon.

I laughed, "C'mon. I've got a plan."

"And that plan would be..." Iggy said expectantly.

"I'll tell you on the way."

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter! The next one may be a while, 'cause I don't even know what Max's plan is. So please, suggestions! Otherwise you may have to wait ages.**

**Oh, and extra disclaimer: I don't own Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore. It's a cool song though, even if it's overplayed.**

**But anyway, REVIEW! (Please?)**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. I finally came up with an idea (if anyone has a better idea than blackmail, tell me), then I started reading the Percy Jackson series. And that delayed the chapter. And then I got carried away writing my other story and... you get the idea.**

**But anyway, ONWARDS WITH THE STORY! (I recall saying that somewhere before...)**

**DISCLAIMER: If everyone on fanfiction owned everything, then... Well yeah, it would be bad.

* * *

**

"So, what are you going to do? Make them watch _Saw_?" Iggy asked.

"No," I told him.

"Make them listen to Justin Beiber?"

"They would _enjoy _that," Fang said, rolling his eyes.

"Right, we'd only be hurting ourselves," Iggy shivered in mock horror.

"So what _is _your idea?" Gazzy asked.

"Blackmail," I said simply.

"Classic, but devious. I like it," Iggy said, a mischievous glint appearing in his eye.  
"So the plan is, they do anything bad, we explode the books. Have a bomb ready," I told them. Gazzy and Iggy nodded, and Fang was silent, as per usual.

"So, yeah," I said awkwardly. Fang was giving me one of those looks like seriously-is-that-all-you-can-come-up-with?

"What?" I glared at him accusingly. "Got a better idea?"

"I'm working on it," Fang said, a trace of smugness in his tone **(A/N: If you guys could come up with a plan for Fang to think of, I need all the ideas I can get!)**

I rolled my eyes at him. "Well for now, this is all I've got. Deal with it."

* * *

_Six Days Later (The Dare on Nudge & Angel is lifted)_

"Ohmigawsh that was hard! I mean, Edward demands to be talked about. I could hear him in the back of my head going 'talk about my sparkles!' but oh well it's over now. Did I mention Edward's sparkles are gorgeous?" Nudge babbled.

"Ugh. Nudge, shut up," I said, rubbing my forehead teasingly. Angel rolled her eyes – apparently I looked like that when I rolled my eyes but "less cute." Thanks Ig. Really.

"I have a proposition for you two," I told them, and I could see Iggy and Gazzy smiles growing wide.

"I wouldn't call it a proposition, Max. It's blackmail," Angel said. "But whatever. I agree to to it."

"Agree to what? WHAT IS GOING ON???" Nudge began going ballistic. Almost like the time we banned her from playing High School Musical songs loudly. (I will admit, Twilight is at least better than _that._)

"Well, if you force any of us-" I gestured to Fang, Iggy, Gazzy and myself. "-To read any of the Twilight books. If you do, the books get exploded."

"Oh," Nudge hung her head. "But I can still talk about it, right?"

"Against my better judgment, yes you can," I said.

"Yayzees!" Nudge squealed.

"Yayzees?" Iggy asked, snickering.

Nudge pouted, "It'll be all over twitter, just you wait!"

"Remind me not to let Nudge have a twitter," Fang muttered, making me laugh.

"Aw, c'mon. Twitter is awesome! We'd get loads of followers! We'd be more popular that your blog, Fang! And-" Gazzy slapped his hand over her mouth.

"We're not getting a twitter. End of story," I said, mouthing 'thank you' to Gazzy.

"But-"

"What are you lot arguing about?" Jeb stormed in, breaking up the chatter.

"Uh, where we're gonna go next," I covered. Thank god I was a good liar.

"I've told you, it's sorted. We're leaving in ten minutes," Jeb paused for a moment, rethinking what he would say. "By _car._"

I groaned inwardly. Of course my 'father' would find a way to ruin my better-than-usual day. I mean, it beat fighting erasers.

"Are you coming with us?" Angel asked, deceptively innocent, as per usual.

"Yes. Now get your stuff together," Jeb said. As much as we hated being bossed around, we filtered out of the room.

I shoved my few possessions into my backpack and pulled out my phone.

"Hey, mom," I said, trying to sound cheerier than I felt.

"Max! How's it going?" She asked.

"Good. We're leaving for the next safe house soon..." I trailed off as Jeb shouted.

"Step on it! We're leaving!"

"Crap, gotta go. Seeya," I rung off, running towards the car.

Did I mention I hate traveling in cars?

* * *

"Jeb, where are we going?' Angel asked sweetly.

"I can't say, but it's a long drive," Jeb said. He gave Angel a look which said "If you tell someone I'll kill you," so I guessed she read his mind.

She seemed happy about the destination.

Maybe we were going to Florida?

* * *

**A/N: You know what's kind of funny? I wrote a lot of this is one of those Twilight journal things (I got a set for Christmas) It's so easy to deface the quotes. I mean, for half of them you can write hypocrite and stuff. And I bet my friend Jamie could make every single one sound sick. (Seriously. She can make saying "Hi" sound disgusting. "High or low?"-shivers in disgust-)**

**Anyway.**

**Any ideas would be awesome.**

**Review?**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Another chapter!**

**I think there should be like, pills for writers block. **

**But anyway. Chapter Ahoy!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own. Unfortunately. I have too much homework to come up with an original idea for a story.

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**

"Gee, he wasn't kidding about the long drive," I said to Fang. We were about six hours into the drive – it was getting dark. Jeb had said there was still ages to go yet.

Fang nodded, a smirk slowly spreading across his face.

"What do you guys want for dinner?" Jeb called.

"McDonald's!" Gazzy yelled, the rest of the flock murmuring in agreement.

Wordlessly, Jeb pulled into a drive-thru

"I want two big Macs!" Gazzy shouted. "With a coke!"

"I'll have two cheeseburgers with a coke," Nudge said.

"Um, I want two Fillet-O-Fish," Angel said. "With a sprite."

"McRib!" Iggy screamed, obviously forgetting the fact he was fourteen. "_Three_ of 'em!"

"I'll have two double cheeseburgers," I said not masking the boredom in my tone.

"Two double quarter pounders," Fang said simply. Yeah, Fang's a man of _many _words.

Jeb nodded and relayed our mass order into the microphone, and the younger kids babbled excitedly.

Not surprising really.

Jeb passed us back the food, and Fang and I being at the very back got ours last. I could swear Gazzy stole a handful of my chips.

Fang and I ate in silence.

The car kept rolling, and I gazed out the window, watching the world roll by.

_You Are Now Leaving Nevada!_

Well. At least it wasn't Florida. I didn't think I could stand Disneyland again.

About two hours later, I was asleep on Fang's shoulder.

* * *

"Aww!" Nudge cooed, turning around to look Fang and I.

And waking me up. Fang too, apparently. It wasn't hard to guess what she was 'aw'-ing at.

"Shut up!" I protested, and Gazzy made a gagging sound. I surveyed the rest of the van.

Nudge and Angel were looking back towards Fang and I, smiling. Gazzy was still making and Iggy was... looking a little depressed to be perfectly honest.

"Hey, Ig! Catch!" I said, lobbing my phone at him.

How he caught it, I will never know.

"What do you want me to do?" He asked, puzzled.

"Call Ella, you nincompoop," I told him, rolling my eyes. "I'm rolling my eyes, Ig."

* * *

"Ugh. I wish Jeb would tell us where we're going," I said. Fang and I were sitting in the treetops, in the middle of I-have-no-freaking-idea, and Jeb was taking a nap in the car. Fang just nodded, so I continued.

"Why are we always being lied to?"

"I don't know," Fang admitted.

"I thought you knew everything," I said teasingly.

"I'm leaving the mind-reading to Angel," he said, making me laugh.

"We'd better get back," I said, annoyance becoming prominent in my voice. "And find out where the hell we're going."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's short! You'll find out where they're going next chapter. And updates may slow for the next two weeks, 'cause I have a stupid science project to do.**

**But anyway, Review?**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Sorry! I told you, science fair! I would have updated sooner, honest!**

**Anyway, y'know what I found disturbing? Today, I saw like, an _eight_ year old wearing an 'I Love Edward' T-shirt. And I thought him dating Bella was a bit of pedophilia.**

**Oh, and swearing in this chapter. Don't say you weren't warned.**

**DISCLAIMER: Me no own.

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**

"Please tell me this is a joke," I murmured.

"Nope!" Angel chirped happily. "We're really in Forks!"

"Someone kill me now," I said, somewhat louder than I intended.

"I could rig up a bomb to kill us all..." Iggy said trailing off.

"That would be nice," Fang muttered.

"Oh, lighten up you guys! It's just Forks!" Nudge babbled excitedly.

"_Just_ Forks? Nudge, we'll probably get mugged by Twi-Hards, and torched because we don't worship Robert Pattinson!" I almost shouted.

"She has a point," Iggy said.

"Quit whining Max, we have a safe-house in the woods. We're staying here, like it or not," Jeb said.

"And since when did I let you boss me around again, Jeb?" I yelled.

"Since," Jeb paused, and I could tell he was having a hard time outsmarting me. "Since I told you to!"

"Oh, what a load of bullshit!" I shouted.

"Language," Jeb warned.

"Again, since when did you boss me around?" I said.

Jeb sighed, and Angel piped up. "How bad could it be?"

"Yeah, and what could possibly go wrong," Iggy said sarcastically.

"Famous last words," Fang said ominously.

"Uh, Jeb," Iggy said. "I think we have a majority against staying in Forks." He gestured (well as much as a blind guy could gesture) to Fang, Gazzy and I.

Jeb sighed again. "Why won't you lot just listen to me?"

"Do you want a full list or just the short version?" I asked seriously.

"I'll shoot. Short version," Jeb said, trying to be confident and failing epically.

"In short, you fail," I told him.

"Miserably," Iggy added. Jeb glared at us pointedly in the mirror.

"Well, you asked for the short version," I muttered.

* * *

"I'm getting out of here first chance I get," I murmured as we ran for cover. I was half hoping Stephenie Meyer had been wring about the whole it-rains-all-the-time thing. Turns out, even though the sparkling vampires are complete bullshit, she actually got something right.

"OMG I can't believe we're really here! We have to go in the woods and hunt for vampires and werewolves later. It's gonna be so much fun!" Nudge babbled.

"Nudge, the vampires and werewolves are _fiction_. That means they _don't exist,_" I told her rolling my eyes.

I heard Jeb sigh as he took out a key to the rotting wood shack we were supposed to be staying in. "Leave her be, Max."

It took all my willpower to not punch him. Instead I said, "Whatever. Just open the door."

I strode into the house – if you could even call it that. It was tiny, one storey high, but it was surprisingly nice despite the run-down exterior.

"Your room's through there," Jeb pointed to a door, which I assumed lead to a hallway.

"One room?" I asked, throwing my pack on the nearest bed.

"Uh, yeah. The other's for me," Jeb said.

"Oh," Nudge whispered. The room had three bunk beds along the back wall, and one chest of drawers by the door.

"We're here for a week. Make yourself at home," Jeb told us, before walking out of the room. I was hoping we wouldn't see much of him for the duration of that week.

* * *

"Well, I'm gonna go on a vampire hunt, coming Angel?" Nudge chirped. We were sitting around in our bedroom, mainly because we didn't really fit in the living room/kitchen/everything else.

"For the last time Nudge, they're not real," I told exasperatedly.

"You can't prove that."

I gave Nudge my stop-pushing-your-luck look and said, "Fine. Don't complain to me when you get soaked and don't find anything."

Nudge just smirked and left the room, Angel trailing behind her.

"And since when were the two of them delusional?" Iggy asked jokingly.

"I heard that!" Nudge squealed, between fits of giggles.

Fang rolled his eyes and muttered, "Good."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, this probably isn't very good, but... yeah. **

**Anyway, Ideas would be awesome, as would reviews!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hey! I just want to thank all you guys for the 82 (WOW!) reviews I have received so far. You guys make writing even more awesome :)**

**Anyway, to the story:

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**

My eyes snapped open to the sound of giggling. And by the fact that it was _giggling_, I guess you could tell it wasn't Fang or Iggy.

Actually, you could only tell it wasn't Fang.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked, sitting bolt upright in bed. Nudge and Angel were crowded. around Iggy's bed for some reason.

"Nothing. We're going out in ten minutes," Angel said, way to quickly to be believable.

I shook my head. "I don't want to know, do I?"

"Probably not," she said, turning back to Iggy.

"Right. See you in ten then," I said, leaving the room.

* * *

"Oh my God, it's sunny!" Nudge squealed.

"But that means the Cullens can't come out," Angel said, a seriously sad look on her face.

I don't think I want to know what goes on in her mind.

_No, you don't_, she thought at me.

"Right. Okay, guys we're leaving!" I called. The boys stumbled out into the living room, when Jeb called out, "What? Where do you think you're going?"

"Uh, out?" I said, taking in his expression. "We'll be back, we're just going downtown. Take a chill pill."

"I'm coming," he said stubbornly.

"Jeb, we've been on our own for ages," _Thanks to you. _"We can handle it."

"I guess..." Jeb trailed off, slinking back to his room for more sleep.

Poor guy.

"Okay, up and away," I said, bolting out the door and leaping into the air.

* * *

"Land there," I pointed to a patch of forest near the town. We swooped in, tucking our wings in. We emerged in the middle of town, which had multiple Twilight fan stores.

"I'm going to go to every Twilight related store," Nudge said.

"Don't expect me to come with you," Fang said, to which Nudge poked her tongue out at him.

"Hey, I'm pretty sure everyone else – with the exception of Angel – is with me," Fang defended. "Right?"

He turned around to look at us sane flock members and his eyes went wide.

"What?" I demanded.

"Ig, dude, you're _sparkling_," he said, flabbergasted. I whirled on the spot, and looked at him. Sure enough, he was covered in body glitter.

So _that's _what Nudge and Angel were doing this morning.

_Admiring our handiwork? _Angel's voice sounded in my head. I ignored her, and as soon as everyone realized Iggy was covered head-to-toe in body glitter, we heard a busload of fangirls screaming.

"HOLY SHIT IT'S A VAMPIRE!" One squealed.

"HE WILL SHOW ME THE WAY TO EDWARD'S BED!" Another screeched.

Wait. Edward's _bed_? _Somebody_ needs therapy.

The screaming fangirls began running towards us, intent on capturing Iggy.

"Run?" Gazzy asked.

"Run," I confirmed, sprinting in the opposite direction of the mob.

"I didn't think they'd be _thi_s crazy," Nudge said in disbelief.

"Yeah, 'cause they're _definitely_ sane," I said sarcastically.

We made the mistake of running through the middle of town.

Right past jam packed Twilight merchandise stores.

"Seriously?" I muttered, the squealing teenagers – and about five middle-aged women – were gaining on us.

"I LOVE YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL SPARKLING VAMPIRE!" One person screamed. I think it was one of the middle aged ones. Gross.

And since we had the _best _luck, we _had_ to run right down a dead end alley.

"Up and away!" I yelled. "On three!"

"One!" I leaped high into the air, whipping out my wings and watching the flock follow suit.

One person yelled, "Fang! You pwn Edward!"

If that person weren't yelling at my boyfriend, I think she'd be my new hero.

"Okay, let's get out of here," I said, and with that, we flew off back towards the safe house.

Thankfully leaving all the fanatics behind.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so the next chapter will be the last chapter, a bit of an epilogue.**

**But anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

**Review?**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Well, last chapter! I just want to thank all of you guys for reading and reviewing this. I want to thank everyone who gave me ideas when I had writers block.**

**So anyway, onwards with the story.

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**

_YOU ARE READING FANG'S BLOG_

_WELCOME!_

_Today's date: Already too late!_

_You are visitor number: 109,321,112,042_

_For The Record..._

_Yo,_

_If anyone's in Forks, Washington at the moment, you may have noticed us running from a group of insane Twilight fangirls. 'Bout sixty of them. Reason being? Nudge and Angel decided to play a little prank on Iggy._

_And this prank involved about a ton of body glitter and a sunny day in Forks._

_So anyway, we managed to get away, and Ig wants everyone to know he doesn't actually sparkle, nor do the rest of us._

_And even though my name is Fang, I don't suck blood. The irony would just be too much._

_Anyway,_

_Fly on,_

_Fang._

_Comments (2)_

_Unicorns_Spew_Rainbows:_

_Whoa, I was there! My friend (a Twilight fanatic) dragged me there, and I was running with the crowd. Then you guys started flying, and I was like "Whoa!" I yelled out "Fang! You pwn Edward!" I hope you heard that!_

_Oh, and first comment xD_

_Intothemoonlight:_

_It wud b kewl if yhu guyz were vamps tho. Yhu wud b da sxc vamps wif wingz._

_Nd hu dusnt want 2 sparkle? _

I leaned back from the computer, laughing.

"They think we should be vampires?" I asked.

"Apparently so," Fang replied, a smirk on his face.

"Hey, Nudge!" I called. "Take a look at this!"

Nudge bounded across the room, Angel at her side. We were still staying in the cabin in Forks, but we were leaving today.

Somehow, I think we were all relieved at that fact.

Nudge and Angel peered at the bottom of the screen, attempting to read the second comment.

"I give up! I don't understand!" Angel said. "They call this English?"

"I think they call it internet English," I explained.

"But we can read the other one, the first one," Angel looked puzzled.

"I think that person is actually sane," I muttered.

"A good point," Angel whispered back, for once agreeing with me.

"It says: It would be cool if you guys were vampires though. You would be the sexy vampires with wings. And who doesn't want to sparkle?" Nudge explained.

"I can think of a few people who don't want to sparkle," I said.

I could tell Nudge wanted to say something to that (probably a three-minute long speech) but thankfully Jeb yelled out to us then.

"We have to go!"

We were supposed catching a flight from Seattle to Africa.

Yeah, I was surprised they did that too.

"Jeb, I told you, we'll fly," I said stubbornly.

"Bu-"

"Jeb, we're flying there. Deal with it," I insisted.

"Fine, then," Jeb said. "Get going."

"As soon as Nudge realizes bringing the whole Twilight saga with her will weigh her down," I muttered.

"Fine," Nudge said unwillingly, dragging the books out of her bag. Jeb stormed out of the house, starting the engine.

"Okay, well, we'd better go," I said, folding the laptop shut. "We have a long flight ahead of us."

* * *

**A/N: And that's the end! This is where the story connects with the real story (as in the books)**

**I want to thank everyone who has followed this story. Even though my updating skills fail epically. **

**So yeah, I hope you enjoyed this. After all, that's why I wrote it. For fun.**


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